Background: I'm just a guy with an opinion who recently found some answers to a nagging question and that of course led to more research. That question is "why do people (including me) try so hard in relationships, stay too long and put up with disrespect, stifling control, condescension, criticism, etc?" And that led me to start unraveling this mess we call codependency. No, I'm not trying to fix anyone - just me.
Frustration: "Codependents are not bad people" is a statement I've frequently read. Yes, as a Christian, I understand grace but also believe it should be accompanied by truth. So here's my question: how do you take behavioral patterns that start with family dysfunction and call it good? And these same behaviors, unless changed, are perpetuated by the same sort of dysfunction that created it? For example, if one looks at the symptoms of codependency to include patterns and characteristics from this web site: https://coda.org/meeting-materials/patterns-and-characteristics-2011/ I see nothing here that even remotely resembles anything good. And then there are endless books and articles telling people how to be free of this malady. Yet, people are not fixed and still struggling...hopefully this explains my frustration?
What now Mike? In the coming weeks, some friends and I will be researching and writing. No criticism. Just helpful stuff. And there's even a therapist, licensed in 3 states, who's going to help out. If you'd like to provide some anonymous input, be a ghost writer, etc, please contact me.
